Tuesday, January 28, 2014

What I wasn't prepared for...

So I have been thinking a lot lately...I know...dangerous. However, because of some stuff that our family is experiencing, I have been reflecting on what God is doing in our lives at this current moment. To recap, Michael has a second job. It's great financially, but it does take a toll on the family. My sister lives with us and that is a huge help, when she isn't busy working :). I work a part time job and stay home with the kids the rest of the time. We have goals to pay off debt and save (hence the two jobs for Michael) and we are trying to stay involved in church and keep our lives together. Needless to say, the house tends to be the last thing on our list. People keep telling me it's ok to have stuff everywhere when you have little ones, but I look around and there are people who manage to keep their house clean inspite of all the children. That means it's mostly my work ethic at home. I'm ok with that. We have clean clothes and food on the table...the house leaves a lot to be desired. Don't judge :)

Now that you know what has been going on, now I can share my thoughts as of late. And to me they are deep...probably just average thoughts, but that's ok. So when Michael started working, I noticed Sydnee did not respond well. She was used to having her Daddy home each night and could play with him. We would go and do stuff on the weekends and it a fun family time. Now, we see him maybe one night a week and some on the weekend. I'm not complaining about that part because he is doing what needs to be done for our family, but I do see a difference in Sydnee's behavior. I had to start disciplining more and I couldn't figure out her mood swings. She would be doing great for a few days and then...BAM...she would just start crying for no reason (sometimes she was sick) or just be disrespectful to me or Susanna. I couldn't figure out the reason until she would spend about 15 minutes with Michael. It made a world of difference in her behavior. I couldn't believe it! So I started to take her up to the Y to see Michael if he had not spent any time with Sydnee for a few days. It amazed me at how just a few minutes in her father's presence and she would be a whole new little girl. And this is where is gets deep...I kept thinking, this is probably how my Heavenly Father feels. He is doing what needs to be done and taking care of me on a daily basis and yet I get grumpy or I act out and then I realize, I haven't spent any time with Him. And then when I do spend that time with Him, even if it's just praying in my car or singing songs while driving from one place to another, I feel like I have connected and that I can go on. My attitude is better and I am much more pleasant to be around. It makes me wonder how some people go daily without His presence and don't feel alone or just worn down. Maybe they do, but I don't know how they survive. So that's my deep thought for the day.

Now for some humor and a little bit of Sydnee. So at church, Pastor Keith has been teaching on Hope for Parenting. Great sermons on Christian parenting. I'll post the link so you can check them out. But anyway, I felt convicted that I haven't been spending quality time with Sydnee on knowing who God is and what He means to our lives and family. So last night, I was giving Sydnee a bath and we were talking about songs we sing at church and then I asked a deep question. I said "Sydnee, who is God?" and without missing a beat she says, "Me! I'm god!" And I was crushed! I thought, oh my goodness, I have already failed me daughter. She is a little heathen! Fortunately, I realized that she is just living in her natural sin nature and believes the world revolves around her. We obviously don't try and teach her that she is the center of the world, but we are all selfish and she just states it like she sees it. So for those of you who know Sydnee, you know that she isn't shy about her thoughts. I mean, I bought a pair of yoga pants and her comment was, "Mom, you wearing your tight pants today?", so I know that she is just being herself, but that also means I need to prayerfully prepare to speak with her and teach her about the love of Christ. But I can't fault the child on her helpfulness. She is so helpful, especially when I am trying to clean the kitchen or sweep the floor. She just loves to "help". Or when I need to make dinner. She wants to "make" too. I just have to remember she will not always want to pitch in so I should just teach her how I like it done and go with it. That's all I have for now. I'll try and post children's pictures soon!

For sermons: hillcountrybible.org