Less than 2 weeks

So I thought I would be OK going back to work. We had planned for it all along. I knew it was coming. But in the last week I have blocked the entire idea out of my mind until today. I don't want to go back. I didn't think I would have a problem going back but I don't know if I can do it. I know it's been done and for all you moms out there who have left that little bundle at home after 6-8 weeks, I don't know how you did it because I think the whole idea sucks right now. Let me just say that normally I am not an emotional person but I can't sleep right now. Sydnee is sleeping beautifully and I am up crying and I literally just stood by her crib trying to memorize what she looked like so I could go back to bed. I am not sure if I can make the last 4 weeks of school and do my job well. My whole mind-set now revolves around Sydnee. Not in the crazy "Sydnee is the center of my universe" but more of "Sydnee is my baby girl and I don't want to leave her!" I know I will have to. In fact I have left her for hours with my mom but there is something about working and knowing that you will be gone all day that really makes me sad. She is really adorable when she sleeps by the way. Anyway, I have less than 2 weeks left with my girl before I have to go back. I am dreading that day and I imagine I will cry throughout the day but I am trying to make myself happy by thinking how wonderful it will be to pick her up and hold her when I get home.

Well in the last 2 weeks Sydnee has had a growth spurt. She is now 9lbs 14oz. She measured 23" long. She is sleeping well and starting to develop a little personality. She naps and sleeps in her crib. Her neck is getting so strong and so are her legs. I think her legs are strong because she likes to kick us when we hold her to try and help get her gas out. Funny and painful at the same time. Sydnee went to her first golf tournament. She lasted 1 1/2 holes before we left. My cousin Hannah was here for Regionals and we just had to cheer her on.

On Sunday, Sydnee was dedicated to God at church. She was a perfect angel while we were there. She even went to Sunday school with us and slept through almost the whole lesson. So proud of our little girl. She is growing and developing and I am not as scared of her acting super crazy when we go places. Mom keeps saying it's because she has finally started to feel comfortable and she is old enough to handle situations. I am not sure what that means. Each day it seems like a new experience for me...which is another reason to NOT go back to work. :/

Sydnee made her big debut at school today. She did really well with all the noise and the students and being passed around...only a few got to hold her because I knew it would upset her. However, all the excitement of being at school made her a little over-stimulated and she spit up all her lunch while we were there. She felt better after but we had to go home so she could relax. Our next visit will have to be limited to a short visit so she can get some rest.

Here are few 6 week pictures my friend Emily took.

This is the "I'm trying to breath through the blanket pose"

 Ruffly butt!!

 I'm awake and making faces!!

This is how Sydnee looks almost every evening...otherwise she is a happy baby!

1 Month

Well as stated in my last blog, I can't believe how time flies. Today Sydnee turns 1 month old. I am still in awe of it all. We are starting to get some sleep. This week has definitely been the turn around week and starting to give me hope that I can make it! She started sleeping longer at night. By longer, 5 hour feeding sessions, except for last night, she went back to 4. She has taken her naps in her crib. We are very excited about this new development. Last night Sydnee slept in her crib all night but 1 sleep cycle. She didn't burp and she can't lay on her back when she doesn't burp. I figured that out the hard way. But this was her first night to try the crib. I am hoping her longer sleep cycle will kick back in once she gets used to the crib. We are still working on her going to sleep on her own, but that is a process, I think. It has slowly improved from the beginning. I can now put her down when she is just at the beginning of falling asleep and too tired to fight staying awake. We can handle that!

Michael and I did some "home" measurements of our 1 month old. We think she weighs 9.2lbs. Which is almost 2 full pounds since she was born! YEAH!!! She measured 22 1/2 inches which means she grew 2 1/2 inches. Now I know the doctor may have different ways of measuring but this is for us. She is growing up so fast! She is starting to smile. We aren't sure what she is smiling at but it is really cute.

Here is her 1 month picture!

Weeks 3-4

Well, we have made it 4 weeks with a baby. At this time, only 4 weeks ago, I was laying in a hospital bed ready to go into surgery because I thought I couldn't take it anymore. However, Sydnee was just ready to get here because I was about to start the "fun" part of labor. She was here not long after that. We are so happy to have here. In the last 2 weeks we have learned a lot and yet feel very helpless at the same time. So I'll share some of the crazy moments we have encountered.

Sydnee can cry. She has a great set of lungs and she is stretching them on a regular basis. She likes to be fussy in the evening. I know everyone says that babies have their "fussy time" but she has a major "fussy time" unless she is being held. Now I love holding my little girl but 2 straight hours of it and when you move she starts crying again is a little much. My mom got to experience some of that tonight. I'm not sure if she didn't believe me when I said she likes to be held or she will cry or what but Sydnee let her have it this evening. It even made my mom laugh because Syd was mad by the time Bebe picked her up! But on the bright side, the crying wore her out and when I got home, I fed her and she fell asleep! Before 8!! Hopefully she will sleep for a bit.

Now another thing we are learning is that Sydnee doesn't like afternoon naps. She will nap in the morning and then only nap for about 20 minutes between each feeding. It's hard to do other things in the afternoon because she has a short attention span and can't entertain herself quite yet, so she likes to be entertained by us. This has caused our house to not be clean and me getting to watch lots of Netflix!

One thing she has inherited from me, her wonderful mother, is the ability to talk in her sleep! That's right, she will chat away with herself and we think she is waking up and we look and she is happily smiling and making wonderful baby noises. We love it! We also have fun when she cuddles with us. She likes to projectile herself  to one side and we pick her back up and place her in the center and she does it again. It's really funny!

Our last little experience, well many as of late, are in the areas of diapers. I thought main projectile pee problems would be from a son. Not with our Sydnee. Two Sundays ago, I was changing a very dirty diaper and it was full, let me tell you, and I took it away and was cleaning her up. In the middle of the clean up, she projectile pees across the changing table! And as I am cleaning up the table I look over just in enough time to put the dirty diaper underneath as another "load" comes out! It was crazy! That same afternoon, her Aunt Susie was changing her and she pulled her legs back and peed all over herself, blanket and whatever else was around her! Mommy wasn't a good mommy and didn't put an extra set of clothes in her diaper bag so she came home naked from Poppy and Bebe's house with a dish towel as a blanket. I learned my lesson, for the most part. I forgot to refill the diapers in the bag and left with 1 today and that wasn't enough. Glad we don't live far from anywhere in Lubbock!

Well that's about all in Sydnee's life. She will be 1 month on Friday and we are so blessed she is keeping us around.