Less than 2 weeks

So I thought I would be OK going back to work. We had planned for it all along. I knew it was coming. But in the last week I have blocked the entire idea out of my mind until today. I don't want to go back. I didn't think I would have a problem going back but I don't know if I can do it. I know it's been done and for all you moms out there who have left that little bundle at home after 6-8 weeks, I don't know how you did it because I think the whole idea sucks right now. Let me just say that normally I am not an emotional person but I can't sleep right now. Sydnee is sleeping beautifully and I am up crying and I literally just stood by her crib trying to memorize what she looked like so I could go back to bed. I am not sure if I can make the last 4 weeks of school and do my job well. My whole mind-set now revolves around Sydnee. Not in the crazy "Sydnee is the center of my universe" but more of "Sydnee is my baby girl and I don't want to leave her!" I know I will have to. In fact I have left her for hours with my mom but there is something about working and knowing that you will be gone all day that really makes me sad. She is really adorable when she sleeps by the way. Anyway, I have less than 2 weeks left with my girl before I have to go back. I am dreading that day and I imagine I will cry throughout the day but I am trying to make myself happy by thinking how wonderful it will be to pick her up and hold her when I get home.

Well in the last 2 weeks Sydnee has had a growth spurt. She is now 9lbs 14oz. She measured 23" long. She is sleeping well and starting to develop a little personality. She naps and sleeps in her crib. Her neck is getting so strong and so are her legs. I think her legs are strong because she likes to kick us when we hold her to try and help get her gas out. Funny and painful at the same time. Sydnee went to her first golf tournament. She lasted 1 1/2 holes before we left. My cousin Hannah was here for Regionals and we just had to cheer her on.

On Sunday, Sydnee was dedicated to God at church. She was a perfect angel while we were there. She even went to Sunday school with us and slept through almost the whole lesson. So proud of our little girl. She is growing and developing and I am not as scared of her acting super crazy when we go places. Mom keeps saying it's because she has finally started to feel comfortable and she is old enough to handle situations. I am not sure what that means. Each day it seems like a new experience for me...which is another reason to NOT go back to work. :/

Sydnee made her big debut at school today. She did really well with all the noise and the students and being passed around...only a few got to hold her because I knew it would upset her. However, all the excitement of being at school made her a little over-stimulated and she spit up all her lunch while we were there. She felt better after but we had to go home so she could relax. Our next visit will have to be limited to a short visit so she can get some rest.

Here are few 6 week pictures my friend Emily took.

This is the "I'm trying to breath through the blanket pose"

 Ruffly butt!!

 I'm awake and making faces!!

This is how Sydnee looks almost every evening...otherwise she is a happy baby!