Top 10 Differences between Grad School and Working on a Ranch.

Since my wife hasn’t updated our blog, I guess I should. As you may or may not know, I have been working on a ranch since late April. Why? Because I can’t eat or pay rent with my degrees. I have observed a few differences between ranch life and grad school that are worth sharing. Why? Because I don’t want to work on my dissertation. Anyways, without further ado (I know the suspense is killing you) here are the. . .

Top 10 Differences between Grad School and Working on a Ranch.

10.  In ranching, bad weather leads to days off. In grad school, weather is meaningless unless it kills your electricity.

9.      In ranching, you have to build a lot of fence to keep your cows in and others’ cows out. In grad school, you have to close your office door to keep everyone out.

8.      In ranching, sometimes you drive forever to get somewhere. In grad school, sometimes you write forever and get nowhere.

7.      In ranching, there is sunlight. In grad school, there is only fluorescent light.

6.      In ranching, you see lots of strange things. In grad school, you’re the strange thing.

5.      In ranching, there are wide open spaces. In grad school, you and 5 other people share an office with 3 desks.

4.      In ranching, things break. In grad school, you break.

3.      In ranching, if done correctly, one makes money. In grad school, if done correctly, one owes money.

2.      In ranching, one occasionally steps in cow poop. In grad school, one often writes papers full of, well . . . you know.

1.      In ranching, cattle are the commodity. In grad school, you are the cow.

3 Months

On June 8th, Sydnee turned 3 months. I can't believe she is already that old! Stop growing up, I mean it! But what a wonderful ride it has been. This last week Sydnee got all her summer gear together, and she is ready to go swimming. If we ever make it out to do that. We have been sewing quilts lately for BeBe. On the week of Sydnee's 3 month birthday, Sydnee got to meet her future best friends at my high school reunion, 10 years already! She met Jonah, who got allergies while he was here. Poor kid, our dry weather does not help little babies. But we were sure happy to see him! She also met Cate. Sadly we didn't get a picture of Cate and Syd together, but I'm sure more will happen in the near future! It was so fun to see all the babies and how we are becoming parents!

3 months old today!

Jonah and Sydnee...trying to hold hands :)

Some updates on how Sydnee is doing. She goes to bed between 8-9 every night and wakes up between 7-8 in the morning. Such a great time of relaxation for Mommy and Daddy. Sydnee eats about 7 times a day and takes her nap after some fun wake time. She has started talking. She talks and makes coos so much! It is so fun to hear! She has also started smiling more and more. My favorite time is when I lean over the crib when she wakes up and a huge grin is on her face. It melts my heart! Sydnee rolled from her tummy to her back yesterday - June 14th. I was so excited. She looked scared! I even marked the time 12:26 pm. She hasn't done it since. She has become so much more active and attentive. She can hold her head up more and more! She is getting so strong! It is so fun to see her grow! She has the best little fat rolls on the tops of her legs. Like her Sunday School teacher says, "she is so squishy!"

Sydnee's Uncle Alan sent her a giant stuffed dog. She looks so tiny next to it! I feel like there will be a competition for the largest stuffed animal. This is not an invitation to join in the giant animal find. We don't have space for them!

Hanging out on the stuffed dog.

Just relaxing!

Too cool for school and ready for summer!

Grammy and Grampa

Daddy and Sydnee having a chat.

Well Sydnee's Grammy and Grampa came to visit over Memorial Day weekend. They hadn't seen our precious girl since her birth. I was gearing Syd up all week for this fun weekend and she just wasn't having any of it. I felt so bad. She cried almost every time they held her! I couldn't believe it! I have passed her around since she was born so she could get used to being held by lots of people and she wasn't having any of it! I don't know what got into her! But we had fun visiting and shopping and just hanging out. Sydnee was a champ, even though she did miss some naps through it all. She was also blessed (as were her parents) with new clothes! Sydnee is dressed to impress now! We are going down in July to see them again, so hopefully things will be better this next time. Here are a few pictures of Sydnee in her new clothes.

Learning how to make raspberries while out getting some Fro-yo

Sitting with Grampa

"Mom, stop taking my picture already!"

Blowout!

Disclaimer! This is about POOP!

So Sydnee has developed this lovely habit that I would like to say I wish she didn't have. Apparently, some breast milk babies do not go to the bathroom around 2 months. Their body absorbs all the nutrients and it takes a while for them to "build up" enough to go to the bathroom. Now granted, Syd's going to kill me when she finds out I blogged about the embarrassing subject, but many moms have had these hilarious days of diaper blowouts. So Sydnee did not go to the bathroom for 1 week and 1 day. I knew it would be a major diaper or several major diapers in a row, but I never expected this! It happened on Wednesday. I had just fed her and I was at my parents' house working on a quilt. I set her in her car seat so she could "talk" to her Poppy while he worked. After a few minutes she started this horrid grunting and her face was SO red. I thought maybe she just still didn't feel good from her shots the day before but I was so wrong. After a few minutes she started to fuss. Dad had a call coming in so I went and got her and thought, well I'll change her just in case. Well when I picked her up, I felt her onesie and it was soaked, all the way up the side! I realized I had a problem on the way. I took her into my parent's bedroom where I laid her on an old towel to start taking her clothes off. She started crying and as I pulled her top up, I saw why. There was poop coming out of the top and back of her diaper. It was in her belly button and there was so much that I couldn't scrape it off with the diaper because the diaper was already too full. I used about 15 wipes just to clean her off of the main goo. I then made a bath for her in the bathroom sink to wash off the rest of the foul smelling poop. It was by far the grossest thing that has happened since we got her home 10 weeks ago! I got her changed...left her half naked until we went home because I only had 1 spare outfit....and we went about our day. She was very happy after the fact but I am not looking forward to next weeks disaster!

Becoming Mommy

There are so many times in our lives that we mark as those special events. We get our license at 16, finally taking our first solo trip out into the real world. We can vote at 18 or buy tobacco (if you're into that). Finally making into your 20's and then the next year you are 21. At this point you start to think about all the events that lead up to that special time of becoming a mom. You find THE ONE. You get married. Somewhere down the road you find out you are going to have a baby! You have 9 months to prepare yourself for something that you can never be prepared for. I don't care what the books say, there is no way you can be prepared for mommyhood. I wouldn't trade one sleepless night for my little girl but as soon as she gets here, you count up all the ways that make you mommy.

Sleepless nights...too many to count. Changing diapers....too many to count. Feeding your little angel...too many to count. Taking your little one to get their shots...painful for both mommy and baby...but the recovery time and cuddle time after make it all OK, somehow. Then there are all the "OH so happy moments". The first time she smiles at you or starts to laugh. Currently, Sydnee is sitting in her swing. She "talked" to her elephant on the fabric of her seat until she was too tired and fell asleep. These moments I will treasure forever. The first time she found her thumb and preferred that to her pacifier. And my all-time favorite is just the happy feeling I have when she just wants to cuddle with me.

I love being a mom. I am beyond blessed to have this little person in my life. God knew what we needed in our lives to completely change us for the better. Sydnee, I love you with all my heart and I will always love you no matter what!

I'm getting so big!

Happy Sydnee!

2 Month Wellness

So Sydnee had her 2 month wellness check today. I am so proud to be her mother. She is such a blessing to me and to her dad. Each night as we check on her before we go to bed, we just stand in awe of how wonderful she is or notice something cute she does in her sleep. We are constantly entertained. She has also started cooing and "talking" to herself. Absolutely the most wonderful sounds I have ever heard. I love how she smiles at me and grabs my fingers when she sits on my lap. Sadly, I don't have her smiling in pictures yet. I never seem to have the camera ready when she is doing her happy time. I will work on that...no worries. She has found her thumb. She sucks on it at night to go to sleep and in the morning to wake up. I know this because she does not suck on it quietly. It is a very loud noise. Fortunately for us, for now, she does not suck on her thumb or paci while she sleeps, only around sleep time. Hopefully she will keep up this habit and not become a full-fledged thumb sucker so we won't have major dental bills in the years to come.

As far as her updates on her stats:

Height: 22.4" and in the 50%
Weight: 10lbs 11oz and in the 50 %
Head Circumference: 15.6" and in the 75%

Dr. G. said she was growing at a good rate and she "must" be smart for such a large head! Haha! I am sure she was just being nice but we like to hear that fun stuff. She also said she was perfect which every parent wants to hear about their child.

Sleep Habits:
Sydnee is our champion sleeper. We are so proud and I have a hard time not bragging about our little girl. But just this week she has set her own schedule, so to speak. Sydnee wakes up at 7AM (wonderful for me!), eats a short breakfast with a short wake time and then goes back to bed for a little bit. She then eats again between 9:30-10 and stays awake for about an hour before her nap. She then eats again around 1, then 3:30-4, then 6ish and then 8 before her bedtime. She takes only one long nap during the day, either morning or afternoon, and knows her bedtime routine. She then sleeps for about 11 hours at night! I can't believe how awesome she is! Bedtime routine consists of a bath or changing into her nighttime diaper and then her pj's. She then eats and then goes to sleep.

Diapers:
At this subject, many call me crazy, but I don't care. We changed to cloth diapers beginning last week. She is doing awesome. No more diaper rash and the diapers are super easy to put on and keep clean. We use Bumgenius and Fuzzibunz. We are pleased with both brands. She doesn't like to be wet, so I am hoping potty training will be easy when we try to start that. Her nighttime diaper is HUGE! We double layer the padding in it and it makes her look like she has a large ba-donk-a-donk!

Closest picture to 2 months!

Aunt Andi's Visit

Aunt Andi came to visit from Pittsburgh. Originally, I was supposed to go to work and she would watch Sydnee, but since I am home, we got to spend a lot of sister time. It was a great visit. We went shopping and sewed together. Sydnee cuddled with Andi and played with her. We also went and got pedicures as a gift to mom for Mother's Day. Sydnee got her toes painted too. Andi was here for Mother's Day as well and it was a real treat for my mom to have all her girls and granddaughter here. Sydnee gave plates with her feet painted on them to her grandmothers and great grandmothers. She was very happy about giving those gifts!

 Sporting Texas Tech gear to meet Aunt Andi!

 Cousin Shania holding Sydnee on Mother's Day!

 About to go shopping. Same face her daddy makes when we go shopping!

Nap time with Aunt Andi!

Next week is our official 2 month appointment! More updates then!

Easter Sunday

So Sydnee took her second trip to church on Easter Sunday. She did wonderful! We went to lunch at Bebe and Poppy's house. It was so fun! The day before, she went over and decorated Easter eggs. She really didn't do much but she did sit there with us and "try" to have fun. I had to leave to run an errand and she apparently went to sleep right after I left. But that's ok. Sydnee was very spoiled for Easter. She got a special package from her Grammy and Grampa and an Easter basket from her Bebe and Poppy. We had a great Easter celebrating the greatest gift given to us.

Praise the Lord!

Well my prayers were answered. It was a little scary for me for a day but I am learning to trust that the Lord is in control. I haven't wanted to go back to work because it was going to be difficult to get sitters for Sydnee and it just stressed me out completely. She also wasn't on a super normal schedule and I kept feeling bad leaving her with someone with her and her act up. I just didn't want that to happen. Well Michael got a part time job working on a ranch that some of our friends own. We have been super blessed by this and are able to compensate for my loss of pay during the month of May. I get to stay home! I am so relaxed and happy and actually looking forward to this extended break. I am sad a little, only because I miss my students but I knew I wouldn't be focusing on my job at that time anyway. I mean, seriously, how can I think about work when I have this cute kid? Ha!

We are now working on Sydnee's schedule. She sleeps really well at night. Mostly a 6-7 hour stretch. I am hoping to get that a little more consistent on the time she goes to bed but we shall see. To do that, I am waking up with her between 7 and 7:30. Some days are better than others but it is helping to regulate a long morning nap and sometimes a long afternoon nap as well. I am hoping this will also extend into a regular bedtime in the future. I am also working on how to keep our house clean, sew (for my mom's business and to make a little extra money), cook and just get into the habit of life.

Upcoming events and blogs that will happen soon. Aunt Andi will be here on Saturday. Mother's Day is Sunday as well as Sydnee's 2 month birthday! And our 2 month doctor's appointment is on the 17th. So much to do and see. Pictures will be posted after this week!

Less than 2 weeks

So I thought I would be OK going back to work. We had planned for it all along. I knew it was coming. But in the last week I have blocked the entire idea out of my mind until today. I don't want to go back. I didn't think I would have a problem going back but I don't know if I can do it. I know it's been done and for all you moms out there who have left that little bundle at home after 6-8 weeks, I don't know how you did it because I think the whole idea sucks right now. Let me just say that normally I am not an emotional person but I can't sleep right now. Sydnee is sleeping beautifully and I am up crying and I literally just stood by her crib trying to memorize what she looked like so I could go back to bed. I am not sure if I can make the last 4 weeks of school and do my job well. My whole mind-set now revolves around Sydnee. Not in the crazy "Sydnee is the center of my universe" but more of "Sydnee is my baby girl and I don't want to leave her!" I know I will have to. In fact I have left her for hours with my mom but there is something about working and knowing that you will be gone all day that really makes me sad. She is really adorable when she sleeps by the way. Anyway, I have less than 2 weeks left with my girl before I have to go back. I am dreading that day and I imagine I will cry throughout the day but I am trying to make myself happy by thinking how wonderful it will be to pick her up and hold her when I get home.

Well in the last 2 weeks Sydnee has had a growth spurt. She is now 9lbs 14oz. She measured 23" long. She is sleeping well and starting to develop a little personality. She naps and sleeps in her crib. Her neck is getting so strong and so are her legs. I think her legs are strong because she likes to kick us when we hold her to try and help get her gas out. Funny and painful at the same time. Sydnee went to her first golf tournament. She lasted 1 1/2 holes before we left. My cousin Hannah was here for Regionals and we just had to cheer her on.

On Sunday, Sydnee was dedicated to God at church. She was a perfect angel while we were there. She even went to Sunday school with us and slept through almost the whole lesson. So proud of our little girl. She is growing and developing and I am not as scared of her acting super crazy when we go places. Mom keeps saying it's because she has finally started to feel comfortable and she is old enough to handle situations. I am not sure what that means. Each day it seems like a new experience for me...which is another reason to NOT go back to work. :/

Sydnee made her big debut at school today. She did really well with all the noise and the students and being passed around...only a few got to hold her because I knew it would upset her. However, all the excitement of being at school made her a little over-stimulated and she spit up all her lunch while we were there. She felt better after but we had to go home so she could relax. Our next visit will have to be limited to a short visit so she can get some rest.

Here are few 6 week pictures my friend Emily took.

This is the "I'm trying to breath through the blanket pose"

 Ruffly butt!!

 I'm awake and making faces!!

This is how Sydnee looks almost every evening...otherwise she is a happy baby!

1 Month

Well as stated in my last blog, I can't believe how time flies. Today Sydnee turns 1 month old. I am still in awe of it all. We are starting to get some sleep. This week has definitely been the turn around week and starting to give me hope that I can make it! She started sleeping longer at night. By longer, 5 hour feeding sessions, except for last night, she went back to 4. She has taken her naps in her crib. We are very excited about this new development. Last night Sydnee slept in her crib all night but 1 sleep cycle. She didn't burp and she can't lay on her back when she doesn't burp. I figured that out the hard way. But this was her first night to try the crib. I am hoping her longer sleep cycle will kick back in once she gets used to the crib. We are still working on her going to sleep on her own, but that is a process, I think. It has slowly improved from the beginning. I can now put her down when she is just at the beginning of falling asleep and too tired to fight staying awake. We can handle that!

Michael and I did some "home" measurements of our 1 month old. We think she weighs 9.2lbs. Which is almost 2 full pounds since she was born! YEAH!!! She measured 22 1/2 inches which means she grew 2 1/2 inches. Now I know the doctor may have different ways of measuring but this is for us. She is growing up so fast! She is starting to smile. We aren't sure what she is smiling at but it is really cute.

Here is her 1 month picture!

Weeks 3-4

Well, we have made it 4 weeks with a baby. At this time, only 4 weeks ago, I was laying in a hospital bed ready to go into surgery because I thought I couldn't take it anymore. However, Sydnee was just ready to get here because I was about to start the "fun" part of labor. She was here not long after that. We are so happy to have here. In the last 2 weeks we have learned a lot and yet feel very helpless at the same time. So I'll share some of the crazy moments we have encountered.

Sydnee can cry. She has a great set of lungs and she is stretching them on a regular basis. She likes to be fussy in the evening. I know everyone says that babies have their "fussy time" but she has a major "fussy time" unless she is being held. Now I love holding my little girl but 2 straight hours of it and when you move she starts crying again is a little much. My mom got to experience some of that tonight. I'm not sure if she didn't believe me when I said she likes to be held or she will cry or what but Sydnee let her have it this evening. It even made my mom laugh because Syd was mad by the time Bebe picked her up! But on the bright side, the crying wore her out and when I got home, I fed her and she fell asleep! Before 8!! Hopefully she will sleep for a bit.

Now another thing we are learning is that Sydnee doesn't like afternoon naps. She will nap in the morning and then only nap for about 20 minutes between each feeding. It's hard to do other things in the afternoon because she has a short attention span and can't entertain herself quite yet, so she likes to be entertained by us. This has caused our house to not be clean and me getting to watch lots of Netflix!

One thing she has inherited from me, her wonderful mother, is the ability to talk in her sleep! That's right, she will chat away with herself and we think she is waking up and we look and she is happily smiling and making wonderful baby noises. We love it! We also have fun when she cuddles with us. She likes to projectile herself  to one side and we pick her back up and place her in the center and she does it again. It's really funny!

Our last little experience, well many as of late, are in the areas of diapers. I thought main projectile pee problems would be from a son. Not with our Sydnee. Two Sundays ago, I was changing a very dirty diaper and it was full, let me tell you, and I took it away and was cleaning her up. In the middle of the clean up, she projectile pees across the changing table! And as I am cleaning up the table I look over just in enough time to put the dirty diaper underneath as another "load" comes out! It was crazy! That same afternoon, her Aunt Susie was changing her and she pulled her legs back and peed all over herself, blanket and whatever else was around her! Mommy wasn't a good mommy and didn't put an extra set of clothes in her diaper bag so she came home naked from Poppy and Bebe's house with a dish towel as a blanket. I learned my lesson, for the most part. I forgot to refill the diapers in the bag and left with 1 today and that wasn't enough. Glad we don't live far from anywhere in Lubbock!

Well that's about all in Sydnee's life. She will be 1 month on Friday and we are so blessed she is keeping us around.

2 Weeks

Yesterday we had Sydnee's 2 week wellness check-up. Dr. G said she is perfect and looks great! This is something her Mommy and Daddy loved to hear. She did have to have a heel prick for a test. When it first happened, she didn't know if she was supposed to cry, and then they squeezed the heel and her little face scrunched up and let me tell you, she can cry! I am not sure how I will do when it comes to shots next time. Other moms have survived, I'm sure I will too! Results of her check-up and measurements: Height - 20" - 75% of babies, Weight - 7lbs 11oz - 50%, Head Circumference - 14" - 70%. Needless to say, the facts make it sounds like our baby is lop-sided but she really does look normal! Right now she is laying on her tummy and playing. She is starting to lift her head, even though she does that mostly when we hold her and it causes her to head-butt us in the chest because she doesn't have the neck strength just yet!


Milestones of the last week! Sydnee has figured out her days and nights. Sadly mommy and daddy are super tired and didn't want to force her awake, we are grateful now because she has a consistent feed, wake, sleep cycle and she sleeps in 2 four hour shifts at night. It's glorious! She had some major gas, apparently common in breast-fed babies and Dr. G said to get Mylicon drops. They are wonderful! She doesn't like to burp but has gotten better at it. The most interesting thing is that she doesn't like to have diapers put on. She likes to bring her legs up frog style when we try to get the diaper on. It's kind of funny and we have some fun little names for out little girl. She's our little frog, a goose (she honks when she nurses), and our little squeak toy because she squeaks when she is just laying around.


Mommy is very grateful Daddy doesn't have a job yet. After her morning feeding, he takes her and Mommy gets to go back to sleep for an hour or so. It's been wonderful having him home. We are praying the job he is applying for works out because it would be great for us but I have enjoyed the last 2 weeks home with him.

In other news, I had hives again this week. Dr. Suzie gave me some steroids to take care of it. It has helped a lot. I think they are now hormone related and not something I am allergic to. It makes sense because I had them at the beginning of pregnancy and now that the hormones are changing/leaving I am getting them again. I am just glad they can give me something to help take them away. When I was pregnant I could only take benadryl and I can't take that now. I like the new medicine better! We have been super blessed with gifts and food over the last few weeks, God is providing for us! Well here are a few pictures from last week.

Our first bath in the tub. Daddy is warming me up after!

First St. Patty's Day! Today is the day I was supposed to be born! Glad I'm already here!

I was having wardrobe issues!

Great Grandpa and JoAnne! He thinks I'm tiny!

Sydnee Madison

One week ago today, we welcomed our little Sydnee Madison into the world. We have been so blessed by her. I know every mother says this, but I think she is just perfect! We had a small setback getting her here, but it was all worth it in the end.

We started the induction on Monday night, and the doctor thought we would have a little girl by the afternoon. However, my body didn't respond to the medicine and we started to discuss the idea of a c-section. Neither the doctor nor I wanted to do this so she let me continue. The baby wasn't in any distress so we decided to wait a few hours to see if I could progress any further. Well we discovered later that Sydnee wasn't in the right position the entire time until the end. After a new bag of pitocin (sp), and a mean nurse came in to "check me", I had progressed. In under 5 hours I had Sydnee! She and I both had a small temperature (nothing too serious), so I didn't get to hold her right away but we finally got to see her and have her with us!

Our first nights at home have been trying, to say the least. She has her days and nights mixed up and doesn't like us changing her schedule. It has been both good and bad with the whole getting to know our little girl. I am so tired, which they tell you, but at the same time, so excited to see our little girl. She was a bit jaundiced when we left the hospital but it has gone away on its own. Sydnee has a set of lungs on her and she can cry! Michael is the most patient with her when she gets cranky. When I hold her when she cries like that, all she wants to do is eat. Well, sometimes that just doesn't work out, if you know what I mean :) I can't feed her all day long! We are working on her sleep schedule today. We are following the book Babywise and hopefully we can get her straightened out. Right now she is crying in the other room instead of taking her nap. I will be very happy if she naps after the next feeding.

Here are some pictures of baby Sydnee!

Dr. Owen! Love her and she was so great with all the craziness of the delivery. 

Sydnee and her Daddy!

Sydnee about to head home. Look there is a bow in her hair and it's pink!

Sydnee with her Poppy. She is so tiny!!

Happy Baby

Well I just read my friend Melanie's blog, and I realized how many times I have written to keep people up to date. Not a lot! I also realized that my blogs were not near as fun nor happy as hers. So, not to copy her, but to update on that happy times of pregnancy here I go. Hopefully it will get me out of the uncomfortable, weird mood I'm in.

Things to be happy about right now:

1. I am 33 weeks tomorrow! I can't believe how time has flown and how soon we will get to meet our cute little girl.

2. We just had a shower and were blessed with all these wonderful baby items. She now has really cute (pink) clothes and shoes and hats and the practical stuff of life. I can't wait for her to get here so I can dress her in all her outfits even though half of them will be spit up on, I am still excited!

3. We will most likely get to meet our little girl a week early! Our little angel is happily sitting breech (complete breech because our baby doesn't do anything halfway). Dr. Owen said she doesn't want me to get near to going into labor so we will find out next week if we are planning a c-section for the week before her due date. That means 6 weeks!! I know she can still flip, but the odds go down daily as she grows and my belly isn't giving her a whole lot of wiggle room.

4. If I have a c-section, I won't have to go back to work for the rest of the year, meaning I will be home with my little girl from March until August! What a blessing that would be!

5. I don't have gestational diabetes, even though I was borderline. All that means is that I ate too many sweets and our baby got fat :) Now I just have 1 sugar thing a day and substitute with the good kinds of foods like nuts and fruits. It's been difficult on some days (just ask Michael) but manageable. I want our little girl to be healthy. Besides, I lost two pounds from the last weigh in because of my cutting back! Oops!

6. Our nursery/office/guest bedroom is almost put together. The office and bed are all ready and we are putting the finishing touches on our baby bedding this weekend. Hopefully we will have it up soon to be able to take pictures.

I think that is all for right now. When people say they get pregnancy brain, they weren't kidding. I can hardly remember do turn the straightener off ( which I forgot today), let alone the lessons for the students. Sometimes I forget that they ask questions and don't even respond! It's super crazy! Fortunately, they are amazing and they put up with all my craziness! I have great students this year! Michael has been super supportive and we are enjoying the birthing classes. We are the least serious of the class but it's fun to learn all the stuff that will happen together. He has gone above and beyond to help out around the house and keep me fed! I think I am eating more than him now! We are both excited to meet this little one! He keeps rubbing the belly to see if she'll flip for him. Sadly, she is stubborn. Oh well, she has our genes and that isn't surprising. Now the only thing we need is for Michael to get a job and we will be set for the upcoming year.

Pregnancy Hormones or what???

I'm not sure if I am being overly sensitive or if I really feel this way but I am ready for a break! I am tired of up and down days. I hope these feelings go away soon. I can't really complain though; I have had a pretty good pregnancy.

To start things off, I am trying, very unsuccessfully, to not stress about going onto maternity leave. I am torn between wanting my students to get the best education possible and taking time off for my baby. I know I will do what is best for my family and I will take the time off that is needed. However, I don't want the kids to suffer because the preparation of the substitute is not done well. For example, I have getting 3 subs. 2 are confirmed, but one of the two does not realize that I will not be doing work from home. This is not a "sub for a day" situation. This sub needs to be able to teach. The first sub they hired I know is a good because she has already taught. Should I worry? Most say no. Some say, it's your job and you need to give a little to make it work out for what is best. I don't want to worry about it, but I don't know how not to worry about it. It's my job, it's our support and it's the future of America, as my husband would put it. I don't want them to miss anything. I know in my head that finding the sub is not my responsibility, but should it be my responsibility to teach the sub how to teach before I do go on leave? And then that leads into the next issue; they told a sub a date but what if not everything goes as planned? I don't know what do to do about that situation and I want everyone, including myself, to be prepared to leave for the 6 weeks or more, that I will be out. Those that are making me feel guilty about leaving and not helping the whole time make me want to cry...so I do...and someday I'll get over it.

Part two of my hormonal worries: glucose test. I didn't pass the 1 hour glucose test. It worries me a little since the sonogram specialist said our baby was fat and could be a sign of gestational diabetes. Then I go and take the test and I don't pass it. So now I have to take one of my days off (which I have been saving) to go take a 3 hour glucose test where I have to start fasting at midnight. I am not allowed to eat or drink until it's over, which would be nearly noon the next day. If this doesn't turn out well, I'll have to be monitored closely. I just don't want to have that stress added to the school stress. Which in turn makes me sad and want to cry.

Since I am generally not a crier, I would like to think that this is all hormonal and I am blowing things way out of proportion. I mean, that is the only thing I can think of as to why I am worrying so much more than I normally do.

On the bright side, I am so happy that in 10 weeks, I really won't be worrying about it because my precious little baby girl will be here. I am so ready to meet her!  Things in my little world are about to change drastically!